clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
