Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
