none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
