He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
