How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize