Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
