Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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