She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
