My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
