You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
