I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize