on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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