As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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