If i could tip my vagina, i would.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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