just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize