well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
