I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
