carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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