Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
