I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
