a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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