so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
