he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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