kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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