dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
