A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
