I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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