Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize