i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
