my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
