i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
