we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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