The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
