Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
