im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
