yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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