I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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