We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
