don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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