Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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