$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
