He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
