Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
