that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize