"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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