do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
