I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
