There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
