i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
