i don't like sucking hair
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
