it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize