She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
