Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
