my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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