We're facebook friends in real life
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
