I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize