Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
