just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We have started to decorate penises.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Randomize
