I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's blow job season.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
