I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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