okay pat passed out under dana's car
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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