Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he was CRYING into my vagina
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
