As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
