Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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