What did we do last night that was yellow?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
