I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
