I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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