Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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