is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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