We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
